Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
