No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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