Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
