Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
