he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize