In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
