i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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