dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
