question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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