Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Shame - the story of my life.
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