how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
