I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
