what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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