Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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