no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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