Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
