Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
