you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
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He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
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I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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