Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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