i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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