haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Someone shit on the floor
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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