I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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