Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
