as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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