so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
