3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
