yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
