It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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