Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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