I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize