That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
