And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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