no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
