when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize