Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
