If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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