They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
