I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
