First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
