hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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