I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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