Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
