I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize