Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
