bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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