i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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