So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
