If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
