Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
