I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
