I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Someone came in the potted fern
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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