I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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