I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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