I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
