i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
