great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
