if only i could text you this smell
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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