he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
