just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
