and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
