There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
