I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
