I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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