she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
