Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
