He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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