Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
